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Death of the Dream

by Channel the Animal

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1.
You tell me to be myself But then tell me to behave You tell me to chase my dreams But then get in my way You tell me to get a clue Well maybe that’s only worked for you I don’t need to be pushed around And pulled apart by your words [So why even try?] Being polite only ever got me as far as goodbye I just wanted to [do what I want] But you had to go [mess up my head] I’m sick and tired of your [damn it to hell!] Contradictory condescension [Get off!]
2.
Foxhunt 04:35
Here they come, now I can hear them Fight or fly? Shall I live or die today? GO Sic my own brethren against me The view-halloo! They know what I am! The master of hounds is a-comin’ around To spur the dogs onward to where I will be found “Tally-ho!” they cry Oh, they’re coming for me! Disembowel the construction! You traitors! You fools! You have to obey the rules! It’s just now being outlawed But some still deem it valid It’s “almost” like they want us to die out completely [PREY!] Let us pray to St. Hubert for the Blessing of the Hunt! In the Name of the Father, the Gun, and the Holy Smokes, may we Always honor God the Creator who set Man in dominion over All the animals… and in whose name we Slaughter and terrorize the weak for sport May He make all hunters proud of their kill and generous with their meat May He make the stories of the hunt proud and boastful of His will May He keep all the hunters safe from harm and guilt May He one day make all men Hunters of Souls! You call it conservation You call it part of backwoods culture Pest control, you say [VERMIN!] Is vital to your structure I survive by staying underground Oh, they’re coming for me! You bastards! You think we’re breaking into your chicken coops But it’s you who’s disturbing the farm And we’re never safe from harm
3.
Momentum 04:26
This will kill me if I stay here! Rolling over, staying sober, I’d rather die! Don’t you tell me that I can’t survive Without your “guidance” and money These roots are diseased and they’re feeding me rot and I have to remind myself that I am not a machine…or a pawn! Oh! I’m trying to build I’m trying to grow You hold me back You’re saying no So far, so bad But change is good I finally have The strength I should Inertia! You’re an immovable object But I’m an unstoppable force So now I’ve made it my project To redirect my course So we come to the crossroads And show all of our cards There’s no terms of agreement I’ve gotta get into my car! HATE ME! BERATE ME! It’s all a guilt trip, a shot to sedate me [Hey!] Don’t you wanna talk about it? [Say!] Where you think I’d be without it! Your prayers mean nothing to me now I’m gonna try I’m gonna fail It’s gonna hurt It’s gonna heal I’ve got no plans I’m on a mission With my own hands I’ll gain momentum
4.
Experience is just a ruse that they use To make you quake in your shoes And grovel for your food It’s their Zen… That work will make you rich, and work will set you free If you keep your nose to the grindstone, Soon you’ll have enough to be One of them The realization that this is your life now…is settling in So pull up your bootstraps, get it in gear We’re gonna drive! [DRIVE!] until the money appears Put on your best smile, perk up that chin There’s customers waiting, they gotta get in [Enslavement!] Servitude! [Make us] some fancy food! I’m drowning, I’m sunk I’m dying, I’m drunk! I need therapy from retail Oh, give me a break A lunch break? A summer break! Time…it’s time…you’re on the climb So celebrate the forfeiture of your life And now, a fanfare for the common man! The disrespect is just part of the job So suck it up, buck it up, polish the knob A means to an end, but there seems to be no end in sight oh, JUST GET TO WORK
5.
Time-Flies 01:26
Time…there it goes Flies to the varicose veins of energy I’m too young to be Falling down and run aground Slow down! Faster! Oh, make it stop! Swarming, distracting, annoying, detracting Feel free to be me Slow down to free me I’ve got to hurry up! I’ve gotta get, I’ve gotta get, I’ve gotta get [get somewhere] You wanna bet?! You’re gonna get… [Nowhere!]
6.
(instrumental)
7.
QLC 03:25
Don’t forget me! Don’t regret me I will make this right I’m a mess now But I won’t go down without a fight I’m a genius I’m a failure Tell me what I am I’m becoming Unbelonging I’m a black cat man! I’m a good boy! I’m a big boy! And I work so hard But it’s all come Down to nothing Even though I’ve come so far I come to be set free! It’s contagious So outrageous This is such a farce Immature responses to all These mature concerns I have to…piss! I come to be set free The way to being sane again is clear All I drink is whiskey And all I eat is beer If I don’t have a problem Then why are you still here? Panic! Anxiety! Drinking society FOR SALE! Okay! I admit it! I’m afraid! Of people, of life, of fear itself Lazy! Crazy! Degenerate! What if I’m the Antichrist?! My feverish mind works overtime To undermine my hard work I can’t deny it I just want to love something Anything will do If you’re not careful…it could be YOU! I’ll try again tomorrow…
8.
Forsaken 06:00
Live with my own sin The only redeemer is time Even death does not erase Disgusting or divine Freedom from mental oppression comes at a price… It’s all my own fault, all my own fate I used to be safe from regret and guilt I was so naïve to ever believe that I was immune to accountability Coddled by serendipity Crushed by responsibility For taking the reins of my soul Sometimes in these small hours I long for the grace of God The absentee father of the cosmos Who has failed…failed! Who has failed me over and over again God will never forgive me ‘Cause he never cared God will never forgive me ‘Cause he was never there Creating my own sense of purpose was nearly the death of me MY GOD… WHY HAVE YOU FORSAKEN ME? FATHER… WHERE HAVE YOU GONE? WHY?!
9.
Administer the drugs! Keep it on a leash! Drown it in delirium until imagination dies Oh, I’m terrified To go outside Of my dumbed-down drudgery What is this blank horror visited upon my mind? I can’t even weep for my own dead soul Every night my mind is dragged down to this wretched place Sick of self-medicating into submission my subconscious Ah, but no more! I surrender I await my fate Go to sleep and pray for silence from my fucked-up mind This is where I make my stand against the rising tide What dreams may come? I await… The beating of the eardrum summons them! The urge grows stronger Rolling over, staying sober, this is how I die (Deus ex machina, odious slime) This will kill me if I stay here, this is not the time (I need to feel this, I need to resign) (Let me play you all my nightmares and my nervous breakdowns) Go to sleep and pray for silence from my tortured mind I will not drown you – this time! Bring it on! Let me feel it full force! No closing off or staying strong I see what lies beneath the lake of alcohol Get out of my sobered mind! You don’t belong here! This is a safe space! Disgrace! I battle through the bedlam For I have better dreams to meet I’ll see you on the other side
10.
I think they're gone I don't think they're listening anymore The cloud's moved on The demons overhead have gone ashore But no more hiding No more dying slowly in this cave I just wanna spend the day in bed with you (Stay in bed...) Ignore the outside world and just be one (Be two, be one, be two, be one)
11.
Hope! 05:42
[Dogged dedication to determination!] Ebullient sounds! Courage abounds! Do we find peace of mind? NO!! But the morning comes and I’m not hungover And everything is possible Today…so stay (So stay awake!) I just want to be happy I gotta believe! [Hope! Hope! Hope!] Free to a good home [Hope!] If hope is artificial then I’ll force it! Everything’s as simple as you make it Now, the coming of the tide! I’m overtime, overdue for a raise Time, on your dime, drown this malaise Now is the time to ascend, to be born [Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh!] Oh, look out… We are entering holy ground! Do we find a way? Find a way home. Hope? Home. [HEY! HEY! HEY!] I’m okay And now I can say I’ll never be that way again [THANK GOD!] Okay! I know that I won’t let go I’ve got it under control [SO GROW!] I know the dream is on the way!!!! It’s so easy to be alive When you find a way to thrive

credits

released January 9, 2020

All songs composed and performed by Todd Seibert
Additional backing shouts by Matas Olsauskas, Eli Richey, Derek Johnson, Brandon Gibbs
Trumpet on “Check the Color of Your Collar” by Devin Clara Fanslow
Cornet on “Check the Color of Your Collar” by Billy Binder
Engineered and Produced by Derek Johnson and Todd Seibert at Johnsongs Studio
Endless fussy overdubs and re-dubs graciously engineered by Matas Olsauskas at Johnsongs Studio
Mixed by Matas Olsauskas, Derek Johnson, and Todd Seibert at Johnsongs Studio
Mastered by Matas Olsauskas
Album art by Olivia Mader

Inexpressible amounts of thanks to everyone on this list and all my other friends and listeners who have encouraged me through this long arduous process, but none more than Derek Johnson, without whom I would have given up so many times, and I don’t just mean in the recording of this album.

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Channel the Animal Indianapolis, Indiana

Channel the Animal is Todd Seibert making noise.

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