Death of the Dream

by Channel the Animal

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credits

released January 9, 2020

All songs composed and performed by Todd Seibert
Additional backing shouts by Matas Olsauskas, Eli Richey, Derek Johnson, Brandon Gibbs
Trumpet on “Check the Color of Your Collar” by Devin Clara Fanslow
Cornet on “Check the Color of Your Collar” by Billy Binder
Engineered and Produced by Derek Johnson and Todd Seibert at Johnsongs Studio
Endless fussy overdubs and re-dubs graciously engineered by Matas Olsauskas at Johnsongs Studio
Mixed by Matas Olsauskas, Derek Johnson, and Todd Seibert at Johnsongs Studio
Mastered by Matas Olsauskas
Album art by Olivia Mader

Inexpressible amounts of thanks to everyone on this list and all my other friends and listeners who have encouraged me through this long arduous process, but none more than Derek Johnson, without whom I would have given up so many times, and I don’t just mean in the recording of this album.

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Channel the Animal Indianapolis, Indiana

Channel the Animal is Todd Seibert making noise.

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Track Name: Contradictory Condescension
You tell me to be myself
But then tell me to behave
You tell me to chase my dreams
But then get in my way
You tell me to get a clue
Well maybe that’s only worked for you
I don’t need to be pushed around
And pulled apart by your words

[So why even try?]
Being polite only ever got me as far as goodbye

I just wanted to [do what I want]
But you had to go [mess up my head]
I’m sick and tired of your [damn it to hell!]
Contradictory condescension

[Get off!]
Track Name: Foxhunt
Here they come, now I can hear them
Fight or fly?
Shall I live or die today?
GO

Sic my own brethren against me
The view-halloo! They know what I am!
The master of hounds is a-comin’ around
To spur the dogs onward to where I will be found

“Tally-ho!” they cry
Oh, they’re coming for me!
Disembowel the construction!

You traitors! You fools!
You have to obey the rules!

It’s just now being outlawed
But some still deem it valid
It’s “almost” like they want us to die out completely
[PREY!]

Let us pray to St. Hubert for the Blessing of the Hunt!
In the Name of the Father, the Gun, and the Holy Smokes, may we
Always honor God the Creator who set Man in dominion over
All the animals… and in whose name we
Slaughter and terrorize the weak for sport

May He make all hunters proud of their kill and generous with their meat
May He make the stories of the hunt proud and boastful of His will
May He keep all the hunters safe from harm and guilt
May He one day make all men Hunters of Souls!

You call it conservation
You call it part of backwoods culture
Pest control, you say [VERMIN!]
Is vital to your structure

I survive by staying underground
Oh, they’re coming for me! You bastards!

You think we’re breaking into your chicken coops
But it’s you who’s disturbing the farm
And we’re never safe from harm
Track Name: Momentum
This will kill me if I stay here!
Rolling over, staying sober, I’d rather die!

Don’t you tell me that I can’t survive
Without your “guidance” and money

These roots are diseased and they’re feeding me rot and I have to remind myself that I am not a machine…or a pawn!

Oh!
I’m trying to build
I’m trying to grow
You hold me back
You’re saying no

So far, so bad
But change is good
I finally have
The strength I should

Inertia!

You’re an immovable object
But I’m an unstoppable force
So now I’ve made it my project
To redirect my course

So we come to the crossroads
And show all of our cards
There’s no terms of agreement
I’ve gotta get into my car!

HATE ME!
BERATE ME!
It’s all a guilt trip, a shot to sedate me

[Hey!]
Don’t you wanna talk about it?
[Say!]
Where you think I’d be without it!
Your prayers mean nothing to me now

I’m gonna try
I’m gonna fail
It’s gonna hurt
It’s gonna heal

I’ve got no plans
I’m on a mission
With my own hands
I’ll gain momentum
Track Name: Check the Color of Your Collar
Experience is just a ruse that they use
To make you quake in your shoes
And grovel for your food
It’s their Zen…

That work will make you rich, and work will set you free
If you keep your nose to the grindstone,
Soon you’ll have enough to be
One of them

The realization that this is your life now…is settling in

So pull up your bootstraps, get it in gear
We’re gonna drive! [DRIVE!] until the money appears
Put on your best smile, perk up that chin
There’s customers waiting, they gotta get in

[Enslavement!] Servitude!
[Make us] some fancy food!
I’m drowning, I’m sunk
I’m dying, I’m drunk!

I need therapy from retail
Oh, give me a break
A lunch break? A summer break!

Time…it’s time…you’re on the climb
So celebrate the forfeiture of your life

And now, a fanfare for the common man!

The disrespect is just part of the job
So suck it up, buck it up, polish the knob
A means to and end, but there seems to be no end in sight

oh, JUST GET TO WORK
Track Name: Time-Flies
Time…there it goes
Flies to the varicose veins of energy
I’m too young to be
Falling down and run aground

Slow down!
Faster!
Oh, make it stop!

Swarming, distracting, annoying, detracting

Feel free to be me
Slow down to free me
I’ve got to hurry up!

I’ve gotta get, I’ve gotta get, I’ve gotta get [get somewhere]
You wanna bet?! You’re gonna get…
[Nowhere!]
Track Name: Lifting Weights
(instrumental)
Track Name: QLC
Don’t forget me!
Don’t regret me
I will make this right

I’m a mess now
But I won’t go down without a fight

I’m a genius
I’m a failure
Tell me what I am

I’m becoming
Unbelonging
I’m a black cat man!

I’m a good boy!
I’m a big boy!
And I work so hard

But it’s all come
Down to nothing
Even though I’ve come so far

I come to be set free!

It’s contagious
So outrageous
This is such a farce

Immature responses to all
These mature concerns

I have to…piss!
I come to be set free
The way to being sane again is clear

All I drink is whiskey
And all I eat is beer
If I don’t have a problem
Then why are you still here?

Panic! Anxiety!
Drinking society
FOR SALE!

Okay! I admit it! I’m afraid!
Of people, of life, of fear itself

Lazy! Crazy! Degenerate!
What if I’m the Antichrist?!

My feverish mind works overtime
To undermine my hard work
I can’t deny it

I just want to love something
Anything will do
If you’re not careful…it could be YOU!

I’ll try again tomorrow…
Track Name: Forsaken
Live with my own sin
The only redeemer is time
Even death does not erase
Disgusting or divine

Freedom from mental oppression comes at a price…
It’s all my own fault, all my own fate

I used to be safe from regret and guilt
I was so naïve to ever believe that I was immune to accountability

Coddled by serendipity
Crushed by responsibility
For taking the reins of my soul

Sometimes in these small hours
I long for the grace of God
The absentee father of the cosmos
Who has failed…failed!
Who has failed me over and over again

God will never forgive me
‘Cause he never cared
God will never forgive me
‘Cause he was never there

Creating my own sense of purpose was nearly the death of me

MY GOD… WHY HAVE YOU FORSAKEN ME?
FATHER… WHERE HAVE YOU GONE?
WHY?!
Track Name: Sinuous Slumber
Administer the drugs! Keep it on a leash!
Drown it in delirium until imagination dies

Oh, I’m terrified
To go outside
Of my dumbed-down drudgery

What is this blank horror visited upon my mind?
I can’t even weep for my own dead soul
Every night my mind is dragged down to this wretched place
Sick of self-medicating into submission my subconscious

Ah, but no more!
I surrender
I await my fate

Go to sleep and pray for silence from my fucked-up mind
This is where I make my stand against the rising tide

What dreams may come?
I await…
The beating of the eardrum summons them!
The urge grows stronger

Rolling over, staying sober, this is how I die
(Deus ex machina, odious slime)
This will kill me if I stay here, this is not the time
(I need to feel this, I need to resign)

(Let me play you all my nightmares and my nervous breakdowns)
Go to sleep and pray for silence from my tortured mind
I will not drown you – this time!

Bring it on!
Let me feel it full force!
No closing off or staying strong
I see what lies beneath the lake of alcohol

Get out of my sobered mind!
You don’t belong here!
This is a safe space!
Disgrace!

I battle through the bedlam
For I have better dreams to meet
I’ll see you on the other side
Track Name: Early Afternoon
I think they're gone
I don't think they're listening anymore
The cloud's moved on
The demons overhead have gone ashore

But no more crying
No more dying slowly in this cave

I just wanna spend the day in bed with you
(Stay in bed...)
Ignore the outside world and just be one
(Be two, be one, be two, be one)
Track Name: Hope!
[Dogged dedication to determination!]
Ebullient sounds! Courage abounds!

Do we find peace of mind? NO!!
But the morning comes and I’m not hungover
And everything is possible
Today…so stay
(So stay awake!)

I just want to be happy
I gotta believe!
[Hope! Hope! Hope!]
Free to a good home
[Hope!]
If hope is artificial then I’ll force it!
Everything’s as simple as you make it
Now, the coming of the tide!

I’m overtime, overdue for a raise
Time, on your dime, drown this malaise

Now is the time to ascend, to be born
[Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh!]
Oh, look out… We are entering holy ground!

Do we find a way? Find a way home. Hope? Home.

[HEY! HEY! HEY!]
I’m okay
And now I can say
I’ll never be that way again [THANK GOD!]
Okay! I know that I won’t let go
I’ve got it under control
[SO GROW!]
I know the dream is on the way!!!!

It’s so easy to be alive
When you find a way to thrive

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